10/13/2008 08:52:00 AM

It Could Be Worse

Posted by Keith G.


The Soldier will Not Be going into Battle Tonight













These Doctors Portray Winslow's Condition.









Well, this story about Kellen Winslow's undisclosed illness Makes me feel just a bit better about my weekend. First, our Softball game was canceled, then My Fantasy Team just proved to me that they are putrid and I was stupid to even think they could put up a fight and try to break the 50 point barrier. After consulting with Juan Friday night I decided to bench my TE because I figured there was no way he could play Tonight if on Friday his balls swelled up to the size of grapefruits. I would not wish this on my worst enemy but it happened and I thought it was an interesting read and one that will make you appreciate your day back to work.

Anyways, I am officially admitting my Fantasy team blows and I apologize to anybody that I own a prominent player from one of their favorite teams. Every one of my players has either become injured or played horribly and not only letting me down but their real life team as well. Just another reason why I don't like drafting Packers.

Enjoy your Monday, hopefully healthy and Nut Swellling Free. And if any of our medical professionals readers can give us an explanation on why your nuts would swell so greatly and what we could do to avoid ever being put in this position it would be greatly appreciated. As my Good friend Joe used to say "Cause Knowing Is HALF the Battle"!!!!!

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3 comments:

Rich said...

Swelling of the balls is sometimes caused by a combination of things. I have seen it happen in the elderly and very sick population. A person with heart, liver and kidney failure will usually succumb to this problem very easily. An increase in intravascular fluid is caused by kidney failure. This in conjuction with a heart in right sided failure will cause a backup in fluids(blood) in the venous system. This additional pressure(excess fluid) in the venous system has to go somewhere. Adding liver failure to the mix only makes things worse. Not producing albumin(liver protein), will decrease the oncotic pressure(helps balance the pressure gradients inside of veins and arteries) intravascularly, which will cause fluids to go to areas of lower pressure(balls being one of these areas). In men, the balls can get very huge. Its a sad sight.

Now, the soldier is probably suffering from something else. This guy is health and couldn't play football if he had any of those issues. 1)I'm thinking he was in some type of orgy where he had women with heels stomping on his balls. 2)He fucked some nasty bitch and has a fucked up nut sack infection. 3)Has a genetic nut sack disorder. Only time will tell.

October 13, 2008 at 12:09 PM  
Rich said...

Google "Elephantitis". Maybe he was in Africa in the off season getting down with the natives and got bit by a mosquito.

October 13, 2008 at 12:18 PM  
theJUANdiggler said...

Very well explained Dr. Ricky Richardo.
How about a bad case genital warts , the media could have been protecting this embaressment by simply describing swelling( he is from Miami )?
Instead of renal failure would a simple kidney infection cause this or possibly stones?
I turn to the doctor.
OHHHHH, so much for yall's prediction on that game. Turn in your season ticks , ucf cant even beat the U with 70% freashman starters and a slew of injuries !

October 14, 2008 at 12:51 PM  

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